sorry, mr. dow jones and mrs. nasdaq

it is only thursday morning and already, i have spent 8 hours of my week at meetings.

i understand that part of my new job involves communication between various departments in my company. i have accepted that our clients see value in stopping by for a visit to discuss their concerns. i even enjoy speaking with (some of) our customers about how their projects are proceeding and assuring them of the quality of their drug.

but why must all this be done while sitting around an expensive table, exchanging business cards, and turning verbs into nouns while advancing through slide presentations? nothing gets accomplished at meetings, except for setting a time for the follow-up meeting. this is as much of a law of nature as gravity is. or being rained on after leaving your umbrella at home.

below is what my work calendar looks like for this week:

and that is the reason why our economy is going to pot. millions of hours of productivity are being lost while people sit in board rooms, or bored rooms, appearing to nod sagely but really just daydreaming about their next holiday, while a beige man in a beige suit drones on and on, reading from his beige powerpoints.

the cure for the economy is not a stimulus package. nor is the cure for the economy emancipation from foreign oil dependence. and the cure for the economy definitely is not a tree hugging liberal in the white house.

to make right our dows, nasdaqs, and s&p’s, all we must do is outlaw the business meeting.