unforgivable motoring sins

November 3, 2007 at 1:54 am 1 comment

there are some mistakes you can make on the road that, even though they are quite annoying, are excusable. for example, ending up in a right turn only lane when you don’t need to make a right turn, or driving an suv. however, just as jesus said that sins against the holy spirit are unforgivable, there exist a few errors that a motorist can commit that are unforgivable.

1. not pulling into an intersection when making a left turn on a one lane road.
2. driving slowly in the left lane of a motorway.
3. crossing the white line painted on the ground indicating where cars should stop at a red light.

these three things are all terrible things you can do to fellow motorists on the road. #1 holds up half the world, #2 infuriates the huge queue of cars you’ve inadvertently created, and #3 kills both the window licker taking his turn too quickly and the philistine who crossed that white line.

i am so certain that if the transit police crack down on the behavior listed above, we could cure road rage, mend the hole in the ozone layer, and restore the ravaged amazon rain forest. blood pressures would drop for drivers and pedestrians, civilians and police, men and women. spirits would be raised and people would smile at each other on the roads – “you go first,” “no YOU go first.” trees would hug you and foxes would blow kisses at you as you drove by at a gas efficient 55mph because traffic was flowing smoothly. extinct species of snails would come back to life, the polar ice caps would heal, and we could lessen our nation’s addiction on foreign oil.

in addition, my daily commute to and from work would be greatly improved and after all, isn’t that what really matters?


Entry filed under: commentary. Tags: , , , .

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. mandythompson  |  December 7, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    I’m a georgia-born transplant in Massachusetts….

    one piece of advice for ya:
    NEVER drive near Boston.
    you will want to hurt people…..


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