whose mountain is it?

December 29, 2007 at 5:45 pm 3 comments

in norway, there is a rock drawing of a man on skis that is believed to be over 4500 years old. the word “ski” has its roots in old norse, and if you have a penchant for linguistics, you’ll be interested in knowing that ancient scandinavian historical records speak of a people called the skrithifinns, or “skiing wanderer.”

all this bookish history is jolly interesting, but as soon as you mention skiing in any conversation nowadays, the discussion inevitably will lead to topic of snowboarders and skiers.

let me make it clear right now that i don’t really care for snowboarding. i’ve been skiing since i was in elementary school and i can’t think of a quicker or a classier way to get down a snowy mountain. i don’t understand why i receive looks of contempt and incredulity when i’m asked whether i “ski or board” and i answer “ski.” it is unfathomable to me why snowboarding is considered cooler than skiing when james bond, the epitome of cool, killed baddies in “her majesty’s secret service” and “the world is not enough” on a pair of skis. in addition, snowboarders are reckless, block the bottom of lifts while they strap on their boards, have ridiculous looking goatees, and put their wallets on chains.

in contrast to the storied history of skiing, the origin of snowboarding cam be traced back to muskegon, michigan in 1965 when a frugal man named sherman poppen lopped the wheels off a skateboard to make a toy for his children.

some people say that snowboarders are dangerous but i’m not really bothered because a poor skier is just as bad, if not worse, than a poor snowboarder. an unskilled skier falls to the ground and in an instant, sharp poles fly through the air and impale your skull while two runaway skis sail down the slope like a pair of laser guided torpedoes. a crashed snowboarder lies in a puddle of blood and vomit but as long as you keep your distance, you can avoid contracting the blood borne diseases he might have.

taos ski valley in new mexico is one of the four remaining ski resorts that have banned snowboarders from its mountains. i am glad to hear that this season, the resort has caved in to the demands of the snowboarding scalawags and is opening its trails to both skiers and snowboarders alike.

banning snowboarding is one step forward on the path that leads to communism. we practically live in a police state already; trans fats have been banned in several large cities, if you touch your cell phone will driving a car, you will be sent to a turkish prison, and if you even attempt to bring a bottle of poland spring on an airplane flight, a sniper will shoot you in the face.

this feud then, between snowboarders and skiers over ownership of the mountain is a healthy one. as long as both parties continue their passionate bickering, we will continue to see both skis and snowboards offered at the rental shops and that freedom of choice is beautiful. the day that either skis or snowboards disappear from the mountain will mark the day that liberty dies.

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Entry filed under: commentary. Tags: , , , , , .

buying happiness two albums and a book

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. graysontrays  |  January 4, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    Are this a serious comment? It reads like an exaggerated rant from a bad stereotype of skiers.

    Bad behavior comes from people, not equipment.

    By the way, there’s a growing number of grandpas and other adults on board (www.graysontrays.com)

    Finally, read up on your history. I don’t know if Sherm Poppen was cheap, but the Snurfer–the predecessor of the snowboard–had nothing to do with a skateboard.

    Reply
  • 2. mexico car rental  |  January 26, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    mexico car rental

    I don\’t understand it.

    Reply
  • 3. PielpFoomivove  |  August 3, 2008 at 7:12 am

    Tahnks for posting

    Reply

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