Posts filed under ‘relationships’


I recently talked to a good friend about what it means to reconcile a relationship. This question struck me as odd because I couldn’t quite put it into words. Anyway, I came up with the following.

Relational reconciliation is a balancing of two sides. When a relationship is reconciled, you and the other person have set a distance that will separate you from them, and reason why the distance was established as such is known to both people.

When you and your best mate have an argument over which is a better car, the Ferrari F430 or the Porsche 911 Turbo, reconciliation is pretty straight forward and easy: the Ferrari is better if you’re a drug dealer or a footballer, the 911 is better if you need a place to have a mid-life crisis. Both parties realize that the argument is a rather small gap to bridge and the distance between you and him remains small and doesn’t change much.

When you and your girl friend of a few years break up, a huge rift opens up. It is so large that you cannot see the other side and if you were to try to cross the chasm without some sort of bridge, you would impale yourself on the jagged rocks below. So reconciliation is deciding what sort of bridge will be built, how far it will span, and whether the chasm can be shortened.Just like building a bridge, this requires hard work, sweat, blood, and engineers. Because people are lazy and engineers in general have poor people skills and make poor company (just kidding guys, haha), reconciliation of this sort of more uncommon.

My metaphor only goes this far.


August 23, 2007 at 2:16 am Leave a comment

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